"God doesn't exist. Church is for old people who smell of wee. Priests are running from life. Theologians are on a meal ticket attempting to answer the unanswerable question of the existence of God, and will
flesh it out until they retire to Spain... etc."
Tony worked as an editor of on-line adult magazine and went into the whole thing as something of a joke. After a while he began to respect the monks and their community life but by the end remained a sceptic, if not a respectful sceptic.
At his last meeting with his mentor Brother Francis, the monk placed a stone in his hand and told him that our task in this life is to find out the name that God has for us in heaven. Tony froze. The cameras rolled. Again in his own words,
"I was hit by something I'll never forget. It was like I'd taken a new drug and felt paralysed and unable to speak. It lasted about a minute."
Deeply moved by what had just happened, Tony experienced a call, an answer. God existed. There was something in it. It wasn't just grown-ups dressing up. Or something to do on a Sunday before the pubs opened. He wasn't looking for it. He wasn't willing it to happen nor was he expecting it to happen, but it did. It was real. Soon he left his job and got work outside that industry. Where is he now. You will find him regularly sitting in a church somewhere, quietly, enjoying God's presence. He's fallen in love with love.
The words of today's gospel ringed home; "The gatekeeper opens the gate for him (Jesus), and the sheep hear his voice." John 10.3. Tony was moved by two experiences, first the amazing community of monks who really slog at intergrity and spirituality. The Acts of the Apostles tells us day by day the Lord added to the number of the church. Why? Because they too lived an authentic Christian community. Some of what they did might not be practical for us today, but the point is that they tried and people outside saw something good and inspiring in that. The lesson for any church, parish, congregation is that working at being the 'Body of Christ' is worthwhile. Acts of the Apostles is not a business plan for marketting or blueprint for a hippy commune. Its simply telling us to sweat it out, to work hard at being a Christian community. A good community will help people be spiritually open.
The second experience, the decisive one, that moved Tony was his encounter with the living God. The Holy Spirit roared through him, shook his old self off. Jesus said, "The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep hear his voice." (John 10.3). Tony probably went on the BBC show for a bit of a laugh, out to disprove it all. In the end he experienced something akin to the voice of the Good Shepherd. As Brother Francis said Tony found heard his name in heaven. When we find our name in heaven, we know our calling, and even in the worst struggles, the peace of God rests with us. If in this reading from John, the Church is the gatekeeper, then sheep are those who seek God.
God wants to fill our hearts with his voice. Maybe for some it is the first time, perhaps for others it is a on-going experience of renweal? I believe, that God dares us. What can we lose? But be warned, for some, there will be no choice, the voice will unexpectadely roar through you.
http://www.worthabbey.net/bbc/tony.htm
